it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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