Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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