It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
