Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
