she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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