There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
