I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
