discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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