so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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