Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
