they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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