I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
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I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I need to sanitize my soul.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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