my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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