No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
