Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
