1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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