Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
