thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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