I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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