I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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