i don't like sucking hair
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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