Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
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It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
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