I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And then my night got REAL pukey
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