Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
