I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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