Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
