Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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