I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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