apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
