Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
