Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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