I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
