k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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