i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
