Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize