The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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