how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
