Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
