Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
