I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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