Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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