Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
