there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I need water and some morals
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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