he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
