pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
