I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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