I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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