We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
