yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
