Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
