oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
