I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
