Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
