yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
