Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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