16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
