I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm really busy with my period
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