Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize