The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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