can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
