therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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