oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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