Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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