Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize